The movie that could have been...

And still can be. I'm looking at you Sean, Jimmy, or anyone who wants to go in as writing partners on this.

I believe Jimmy and I started this a couple years ago and were planning to write back and forth. It got to page 2. I'm not really sure if Jimmy even wrote anything. I think he didn't want it to be about a Jimmy-like character. Anyway, who's with me?


Faimé Jausto, a dishevelled twenty something with white spots of zit cream dotting his face, sits at his computer organizing his iTunes artwork for the fiftieth time. His room is sparsely furnished, nothing matches. In his bed are the following: red bow tie, a sock, some change, ipod headphones, a pen, random pieces of plastic, a packet of soy sauce and a parking ticket. An instant message pops up on his screen.

David: (typed) hey fagtard

Faime: (typed) i'm redoing my iTunes again look at this [insert link to suicide girls type porn]

David: (typed) nice.

Faime maximizes a window that was hidden in his dock. More porn. Innocent-looking girl getting plowed in the ass. He unzips his pants.

Faime: (whispers) I claim her.

Instant message pops up again.

David: (typed) dude, what the fuck was up with Hose B today?

Faime: (whispers) Dammit

(typed) dude, i don't know... but give me a second.

David: (typed) what link sedn it to me. i know what you're doing.

Faime: (typed) [link]

David: (typed) nice.

BEGIN OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE -  EXT. DAY (Song Irregular Love Triangle by Shinobu)

Faime pulls into a parking lot in suburban business district. Fishes in his pockets and car seats for a dollar, finds one, drops it, wind takes it, chases it around the parking lot, jumps on it with both feet. Close up on his hipster leather loafers. Hastily shoves the dollar in parking meter machine thing. Runs across the street, almost gets hit by older woman driving a Gremlin looks at the bumper sticker " w" 2004. Jogs/walks down the street. Crosses street again to mailbox in front of Post Office to drop in Netflix movies, sneers at Blockbuster clerk giving him the stink eye from store window. Almost flat out running now as he turns onto a "Main Street" with nice shops, upper-middle-class-scale. Jaime turns into a computer store. High fives with various employees, gives the finger to others. He walks up to a customer sitting at a table, says something to her, and continues to the back room... End opening credits...


Faime strolls through the door and clocks in with a minute to spare. He waits until the last second on purpose. The room has a few tables strewn with computer parts. About 6 people are in the back room. A conversation is taking place about movies watched as children and the effect they've had on adulthood. A few people wearing the same orange t-shirts are working on computers, still participating in the conversation as they work. A few others drinking coffee, eating Starbucks pastries. Every time a movie is mentioned someone brings up a scene from that movie on YouTube.

Sean: Yeah well, needless to say, if you were watching Cinderella over and over again as a child... oh, and you're male. Well, do I have to continue this thought?

Jon: Oh nice. I loved Cinderella

David: (coughs to disguise) Gay!

Jon: Look who's talking. At least I wasn't jacking off to...

And there is where the experiment ended. Who wants to write the next line?