Training for the Post-Apocalypse

So Jeff texts me about Peter Joseph and the Zeitgeist Movement, have I seen it? Do I know this guy's stuff? etc. He's having a bit of an idealogical meltdown having just brought a new life into this effed up world and needs to bounce ideas off someone.

Somewhere inside me it feels like I've watched Zeitgeist (the movie) before, or at least heard about it. Probably off Jon Abinante's blog ( I've always said Jon puts up all the things that are interesting to me from the internet. I don't have to surf because he's done it already.

I watch the interview with Peter Joseph ( And probably because he's talked about this stuff so much and maybe sick of people just discovering it, he comes across as a condescending pill, douche, etc. But his thinking lines up pretty close to my thinking. I text Jeff, "Am I like that?" Meaning, am I a pill? "Haha, well... When you get going..." Yeah, I'm a pill.

Next, I watch the movie ( He starts off with religion. If you know me, you know that his views on religion are pretty much exactly my views. I love all the facts he brings up though. All the stuff about how the ancients worshipped the sun and all the deities from all the major religions (and a ton of the minor religions) simply take some figure and replace the sun with that figure. Awesome stuff about all the major dates in most religions having direct correlations to astrological events and the sun and seasons, etc, etc. Makes religion just seem that much more non-sensical and ridiculous. Sorry if that offends you (eh, no I'm not, wake up). Yep, I'm a pill.

The movie goes on to 9/11 conspiracies that actually kind of fuck me up when I start seeing all that insane evidence that points away from ill trained terrorists (of the 19, what, 9 are still alive?). I remember looking at the photos from the other two wreck sites and wondering what everyone else was wondering... where are the planes? Weird that we all (the whole country) didn't freak out and go, huh?

He also does a huge section on the Federal Reserve and banking and economics and how the world is basically run by like 5 rich guys. Again, with all the evidence he brings up, it is plausible.

Buuuut, I do have this thing. Conspiracy theorists all seem nuts! Don't they? So a social stigma gets in the way of me exploring this more because I'm like... eh, this part doesn't line up with my thinking because that guy seems crazy... (or he seems like a pill).

So instead of going deep into what seems like it would result in me bearded, unwashed, surrounded by stacks of "evidence" in a basement some where, a single bare bulb illuminating my mangled mass of ginger hair and my half-crazed grimacing smile, I turn my thinking a bit.

Jeff gets worried because Peter Joseph says this always-consuming-to-make-the-economy-work world we live in can't last, which is true. We all know that. Fossil fuels are finite. We are using the world up. That part no one can deny. And the more people we bring into the world, the faster everything gets used. If there isn't drastic change, yeah, it will be the end of humans. And the end will probably be ugly and filled with suffering (both Jeff and I think, The Road). We don't want the people we care about to suffer, especially looking at those (small, seemingly helpless) people now, daughters, sons, nieces and nephews, even our parents if this collapse comes sooner rather than later.

Here is where I either have faith or I'm a jerk or I don't know. I hope it's the faith part. Not a religious faith based on what other people just accepted (lemming mentality), but a faith in the intelligence and strength of the people I care about. We are smart people. We will survive hard times. Even given situations that are foreign and scary and completely new (trying to find food in a destroyed world), I have faith that we could do it. I know that sounds naive and probably downright stupid, but there is where my faith is. My faith in the intelligence and problem solving skills of the people that are close to me. That's my church. Haha! I just figured that out typing this.

And here is where this becomes more fun, and where my theories fall into this dilemma. I can't imagine that the world is going to smart up and change (the last round of elections proves that to me, 11/2010). People with their religious fanaticism will chalk up whatever happens to god's will (whichever replacement for the sun you have chosen) and walk gladly into the fire. Good riddance. We leftovers will be trying to work out a way to survive this mess.

My plan? Keep learning skills that will help me survive in this eventuality (I may be dead of other things before this all happens, including very old age (shut up)). And everyone says cockroaches are going to be the ones to survive the apocalypse and yes, that's probably true. But I think, of humans, movie stars are the ones best equipped to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

If you're following my way of thinking here, I don't even need to explain that (what may seem like a crazy) statement. Think of someone like Viggo Mortensen. The guy is proficient with just about any kind of weapon, can ride horses like a mutha, probably knows a martial art or two... You get what I'm saying.

This entry is getting long, no? Just wanted you to have the intro to some of the tweets I'm sure I'll be tweeting, and blog entries I'm sure I'll be blogging all under the title, Training for the Post-Apocalypse.

Who's with me? Haha.

Training I feel I can check off:

1. I can drive just about any kind of vehicle.

2. From the age of about 9 to 16 I've made and discharged more weapons than probably most people. Anything from razor-tip arrows, to butane bottle bombs, to nail-firing blow guns, my friends and I caused a bit of havoc in my suburban/fringe rural town.

3. Between cub scouts (yeah I said cub scouts), Outdoor Ed in high school, and camping every summer of the first 18 years of my life (along with logging many hours watching Man vs. Wild), I feel pretty comfortable in the outdoors. Parents who were teachers left them off during the summers, but with 4 kids, didn't leave them with tons of money to entertain those kids. Camping!

More for the list soon. What's on your list? Are you prepared? What skill do you think is most important to have for the end of times? :)

See what I did there? You thought this was going to end up crazy and weird and really it's just a fun way to explain why I want to go to WyoTech and learn a martial art.