scraps and notes
this was an intro used for one of Jaimé's mix tapes. check out his tapes on his site: jaim.es.
It's been slowly changing for a month or two, but so subtly you don't notice until one day you wake up and the light is completely different. It seems more yellow and the trees are more yellow and even the long, skinny bodies of the shadows they cast seem yellow early in the morning.
In July you were in love with three different people, three different pieces fitting against three different parts of the puzzle of your body. You were younger. You were slimmer even. But now, with the sun coming through the blinds, the stripes of light higher on the wall, the smell of the air sliding through the gaps in your single paned windows, like snow and dried leaves, they have become shadows as well. You reach to pull someone near, the fun one, the smart one, the one with the same taste in music, and grab a handful of empty blanket, the wire that leads to your headphones.
You reel the headphones in from where they were, hanging off the edge of the bed, slip them over your ears and sink back into your pillow, baby, baby, sha la la la la, spinning louder and louder as you turn the volume slowly up, as loud as you can stand.
a piece used as a forward to a book of photos of the nakaharas and their boy:
And don't we all long to pull together and form small galaxies,
our dusty, broken stars coalescing,
swirling into bright, new planets?
DNA rotates its ladders,
rogue comets race and crash through our systems,
the pieces orbit and slowly merge misty
into the moony face of a child.
We pull him toward us, back to the solid ground
and the gold grass of late summer.
He twirls on his small axis, closes his eyes,
and feels the sun and cloud-shadows
play across the sky.
* I believe this was supposed to be in intro to one of Jaimé's mix tapes, but don't think it was ever used.
You two were in front and I laid across the backseat, my head thick with pills, the squeal of guitars still whining in my ears as I stared at the stars smearing across the sky through the moonroof. After the band destroyed their drum set and the bar tender shooed us into the humid Alabama night, we, and maybe it was you two, decided to drive to the lake. I shouldn't have invited myself and when your hands found one another's on the front seat like nocturnal creatures find one another in the dark, I chose to not see anymore and lay down.
"Night swimming," Stipe's voice drooled out of a speaker which hung like an eye out of its socket near my head, "deserves a quiet night." I closed my eyes and listened to the gravel crunch under the tires as we turned onto the dirt rode to the lake. I could hear the crickets in the grass, I could smell the damp air, thick with what was rotting on the earth.
* a conversation over chat with a co-worker
David: did roveeh go away? is it now kimberly?
Today 12:11 PM
Mark: I'm guessing so. Roveeh's not even in Directory anymore.
Today 1:26 PM
David: yeah, saw that. wasn't sure if you've had more contact with her recently
Mark: I noticed Shelly, but thought Roveeh was on vacation or something.
Today 1:50 PM
David: ah, oh well. au revoir, Roveeeeeeeeeeeh
or however you spell it
Mark: And she never said goodbye. :'(
Today 2:04 PM
David: she did. in her own special way. she drifted like sand into your dreams and whispered her goodbye into your ear
as if she was speaking to the creatures that live in sea shells, quietly telling them, she shall return, she shall return.
Today 2:11 PM
Mark: Comedy. I mean... moving. Very moving. I'm wiping the tears from my cheeks and keyboard as I type.
David: just think of each tear as Roveeh's gentle kisses
Mark: Sweet, sweet Roveeh.
David: i miss her so
her cinnamon skin, her almond eyes
David: i will put this in a locket that i will wear close to my broken, busted, bleeding heart.
is that her actual photo though? haha
Mark: You are the last true romantic.
Mark: almost made her photo as my chat icon and then thought, "Yeah, that's a really bad idea."
Today 2:22 PM
David: that would have been awesome
Mark: Until you're asking someone, "did maRk! go away? is it now..."
David: He isn't even in Directory anymore. I heard he was madly in love with this chick Roveeh and when she went away, he couldn't handle it, lost a lot of weight, hair turned gray, started eating cat food heated up in the microwave. real shame...
Today 2:28 PM
Mark: In fact, the same thing happened to about fifty of our employees who had done one form or another of communication with her. True story.
David: she was a one woman epidemic. Roveeh outbreak, man. it was NOT pretty. one dude said he was in love with her teeth. i mean, her teeth? this woman was a beautiful disease of the heart, man... rancid